About Me

Monday, October 11, 2010

Because This Is My Previous Life ~ Experiences

From the archives: 

These are the experiences you need before you die!

Experience #1: Being in a car full of people who are all speaking, laughing, and bonding in a language you don’t understand. Talk about perspective. There is nothing more revealing about how boxed in we really are (even in the big awesome better than everybody else US of A) than being in your own car, driving in your own neighborhood and still feeling completely lost because everyone else in your car is having the most uproariously fun time in German. And you don’t understand. Not. One. Word. I learned many things from that experience. 1. If I was lost in Germany, I would remain lost in Germany for quite some time. 2. No matter what language, you will always be able to recognize when a woman is: having girl talk, talking to or about her mother, talking to or about her significant other, and finally when they really need a big chunk of chocolate.

Experience # 2: For those of us who just want to play nice. Watch a woman ask for what she REALLY wants and get it without ruffling any feathers. Watching that I realized just how many times I have accepted sub-par service and products because I just didn’t have the guts to say, “This is not exactly what I was looking for” and then to keep saying it until I did get exactly what I was looking for. My soon to be cousin may have spent an hour at the makeup counter, but at the end of that hour she had obtained the perfectly
stunning look for her wedding day. Not the just almost sort of but not quite look that I would have come away with in ten minutes.

Experience # 3: The lightbulb moment that your husband isn’t trying to be an insensitive jerk, he just comes by it naturally. When you go home and complain to your husband that you now officially have lines on your forehead and that you might as well be dead because you are so freakin’ old already, and he says, “No you don’t.” And that doesn’t make you feel any better, so instead he says, “Why don’t you worry about
everything else that needs to be fixed.” You understandably burst out sobbing. He instantly becomes freaked out and starts saying, “What did I say?” “Baby, what’s wrong?” “What?” “What?” That is when you have the lightbulb moment that he really has no clue. Leading to the 2nd lightbulb moment: Save these kinds of complaints for your girlfriends. ALWAYS save these kinds of complaints for your girlfriends. They get it. He
doesn’t. It will always be this way.

Experience # 4: Realizing that you have your mother’s nose. Or taking pictures of yourself. Last night, I was trying to take pictures of my hair so that I could show the husband the updo I would be wearing in a wedding. He was not going to be home til late and I needed to take my hair down before I went to bed. So I got out the digital camera and started snapping. One picture was from an odd angle and when I looked at it in the viewer I gasped at what I saw. My mother’s nose. In fact it was my mom’s entire face  with chubbier cheeks. It was a really cool thing to see. I just might age well after all.